Intro: Alex N

Welcome
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Guided almost exclusively by the left hemisphere for most of my life, I’m a technically-minded and generally curious nerd who is usually on the computer. Professional software engineer. In the last few years my right hemisphere decided to join the party, so I’m also an amateur music producer and DJ, wannabe artist, and aspiring Buddhism/Zen practitioner. Love travelling, exploring diverse cultures, eating good food, and hanging out with amazing friends. Currently living in London :united_kingdom:

A lengthy, slightly depressing story of how I got here:

For the longest time all I knew was the material world – living in concrete boxes, surrounded by devices, mindlessly consuming media, trawling the internet for fleeting hits of dopamine. Not always happy, but comfortably numb. Going outside, visiting nature, socialising, were sometimes merely a detour to my real destination: the enchanting, captivating digital screen. The fantastical worlds projected onto it were more interesting than real life. I could imagine being a hero (or play one), see places I couldn’t go to, and explore topics I didn’t even know existed yet. Out in the real world I often felt different, awkward, like I didn’t belong. Besides, the world can be scary.

As a young adult I aspired to a rewarding and well-paying career, doing my best to be a productive cog in the machine, a useful member of society. I worked for a couple big tech companies and was lucky to be well compensated for my efforts. Line goes up, investors get their money, all is well with the world. Right?

Wrong. The veil was rudely lifted. I was still unfulfilled, perpetually feeling like something was missing. And the world I had known to be strange and unwelcoming, but relatively stable, was revealed to be much worse than I could have imagined. (Mostly) free access to information meant I could read about horrors from past, present and future. Injustices happening all around the globe. Imploding infrastructure and systems. Crimes against humanity, animals, nature itself. Human incompetence and malice of mind-bending magnitude. Unchecked capitalism preying on our very psychology to squeeze every last drop of money, time and attention it could. Faceless corporations and incompassionate billionaires lobbying and corrupting governments and politicians to strip away rights, oppress, exploit man and environment, and erode educational and social systems.

I felt sick. Disillusioned. Burnt out. Helpless. I didn’t want any part in that. It turned me cynical, but I knew there was a lot of good out there as well, so I remained a realist verging on optimist. I kept hope. We can do better than that.

I was never a religious or spiritual person, but for a long time was drawn to meditation and Buddhist/Zen ideologies. I attempted sitting meditation on and off for a few years without much success. The monkey mind was simply too powerful. I made it that way, letting it run rampant for so long, and now I was stuck with it in control. But I knew I had to keep trying. I will get to the bottom of this existence even if it kills me, dammit!
Slowly I started working with my mind instead of against it. I took a few steps back, started practising healthier habits, focusing on building and maintaining real relationships, tending to mental health more. I abandoned the “grindset” mentality, and pulled myself out of the hole I inadvertently dug.

Earlier this year, during one of my YouTube binges, I stumbled upon a BigThink episode featuring Sam Harris (Sam Harris: The great problem of our time, I believe it was), which in turn pointed me to the guided mediation app Waking Up. I promptly subscribed and started meditating consistently, almost every day, and exploring the various lessons and presentations on there. The app itself has been a great tool, and the only guided meditation app that clicked for me. It made me want to explore my spirituality more. And through the Waking Up community and overlapping groups, I found out about and joined 2R meetups in London.

TL;DR

A sometimes difficult life, along with all the problems in the world, often brought me to a dark place. Travelling, being in nature (and being present), meeting wonderful people, making amazing friends, and experiencing good things life has to offer kept me going. The desire to untangle and shine a light on my mind and spirit have brought me to meditation, which indirectly brought me to the 2R community and movement. 2R outlines what I felt was wrong with the world for a long time, and here are all of you folks – organising, mobilising, and spreading awareness, working towards a better future (or a future at all).

I am grateful to be here and have the opportunity to contribute to a truly important movement instead of simply a bottom line, and to get involved with issues that have eaten away at me for years but that I felt powerless to do anything about.

I would be honoured to assist with any technical work (frontend, backend, architecture, infrastructure, hardening, automations), graphic design (logos, web design, (maybe) illustrations), research, providing bangers to dance to, and anything else that’s in my power.

Life is better, together :heart:

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Wow, @alex what an inspiring history with so much you can offer, Welcome! I can think of several things, some to do with 2R / Life Itself and others to do with my personally treasured life-enhancing projects. Feel free to DM me; I’m sure others will join me in that.

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Hi @alex , welcome to this space!

Your experiences speak to the challenges shared by many of my students. I teach young adults qualifying for IT careers as well as more mature career changers. Many are questioning what it takes to qualify for a good job, as well as which jobs may not be worth having.

The recent trend toward AI has complicated these matters considerably. I’d be very interested in any take you have - technically or psychologically - on the issues raised here: Ethics and AI

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Hey again @alex :waving_hand:
Reading your full intro here after already welcoming you on WhatsApp… I just want to say again how grateful I am that you’ve found your way to this community.

What you shared is deeply moving and achingly familiar. That feeling of awakening to the unsettling truths of the world; the extractive systems, the burnout, the numbness, the aching for something more, it’s something many of us here have grappled with. And your willingness to sit with all of it, to keep seeking, learning, and transforming… that takes real courage.

As I said before: your presence and energy are already a gift. You’re showing up with such honesty, curiosity, and care, not just offering your skills, but your self. That’s the kind of generosity this movement thrives on.

And my deepest hope is that being part of 2R doesn’t just give you a place to contribute, but becomes a source of regenerative energy for you, where the abundance you offer returns to you in connection, insight, and shared purpose. A contrast to the extractive dynamics you’ve stepped away from. Here’s to building something that gives back to all of us.

Excited to co-create, collaborate, and maybe even dance all together soon :musical_notes: :level_slider: :control_knobs:

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Great to meet you today!

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Thanks Bob, it was great to virtually meet you!

To clarify, I don’t regret the career choice. I think it’s one of the most fitting for me, at least at this time and given my history, and it can be rewarding and fulfilling. Technology is a tool, and can be used for good or bad. My problem is really with the soulless corporate culture around many tech (and non-tech) companies, and how most companies are using tech.

The companies I worked for were building good, useful products, but they still had to answer to the investors. Most times investors are short-sighted and simply trying to maximise their ROI in the shortest time, which often leads to poor decision-making, layoffs, mistreating employees, etc.

And yes, with the advent of AI, we’re living in very… interesting times. I’ll have a look at that thread and pay my 2c.

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Thanks Naeema, always appreciate your energy and positivity!

I used to hate struggling and suffering, and did whatever I could to get away from it, which only brought on more. Now I’m trying to follow the Buddha’s advice and accept it as part of life, embrace it, and work with it rather than against it.

That’s my hope as well, and after spending some time with many folks here, I think we’re on the right track :smile:

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Welcome @alex. Thanks for sharing your story. I see lots of parallels with my own journey (I posted it here). You should find the relational practices a great addition to your personal work. Sharing with others takes spiritual efforts to another level. Looking forward to see what you bring. I’ve heard a few people looking for programming help so there should be lots of ways to contribute. But your presence is your greatest gift to offer!

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That’s generally how I frame matters for my students - tech is a value neutral tool. But the issue of soulless corporate culture is a real one for them as well.

In an ideal world, everyone would have a robust answer to all the Ikigai questions and go straight to occupational roles they both love and can get paid for. In realistic practice, it’s not always so simple. My generic advice to students (non-personalized) is to lean into love - soulfulness - and then transact with the soulless world as needed to keep basic material support flowing. What I see not working nearly as well is allowing corporate identity to overwhelm all manner of personal passion and integrity. People in this forum are generally horrified by that second prospect - which explains among other things, interest in this forum!

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Lovely!

Where I take this forward is in asking the question: how can we discern between genuine love and soulfulness (in any one instance) and some subtly egocentric, pride-based, simulacrum of love and soulfulness? And my inclination is to answer this through the involvement of trusted others.

This also extends to corporate posturing, pretending to have integrity and concern for wider world, while actually using this as bait to draw in those who really do have integrity? I’m suggesting that it isn’t always that easy to tell. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Just as we are all liable to scams in different ways, to different degrees. From the software world, Linus’s law points in a good direction.

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That’s really the wisdom problem in a nutshell, isn’t it? In Christian vocabulary, what’s required is “metanoia”. Other traditions have other ways of putting it, but a death to false love and a rebirth to truer love is one of the universal archetypal themes.

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How sad that often what we love doing, and passion projects, are very difficult to monetise in a sustainable way, and we have to split ourselves into our “corporate” persona and our “real” persona. In fact, the inability to focus all our time and energy into love projects can sometimes be the very thing that prevents us from monetising and making a living off them. I suppose we only have ourselves (as humans and society as a whole) to blame for assigning more value to the wrong things in the name of industry and “economic growth”.

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For discerning between the two, trusted others is of course a great way, but not always possible. A little introspection can go a long way.

As for corporate posturing, sooner or later their actions always reveal their real values and interests. Talk is cheap, especially in the corporate world. And sites like Glassdoor and Blind can help shine a light on any posturing and hopefully prevent more well-meaning folks from falling into their trap.

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Attaching a link to my draft grand overview of everything related to futures forecasting and decision making (currently at the 30 page mark in draft) just for a reference to my full thinking.

On the point of “introspection” specifically, Section F, “The Spiritual ‘Pull’” is a detailed unpacking of why introspection is unavoidable for action orientation aligned with love. (I’m using “love” as a proxy for values in general). This section is currently mostly just a bulleted outline, but it shows the scope of the current treatment. (World historical).

The gist of this section is it motivates an understanding of “Second Renaissance” as a recovery of enchantment (which prevailed globally prior to Weber’s modern “disenchantment” of the world). The section is academic to the nth degree, in a way that illustrates rationality straining to the utmost to preserve itself and in the end just collapsing and giving in to the necessity of dreams, visions, portents, ecstatic practices, and the miraculous.

@SilentShaun and I are in early stages of brainstorming some practice models about all this for his proposed Red World Oasis Tent. The sadness you express in your prior post is a sort of portal into the worlds we aim to explore through these practices.