Hi @alex , welcome to this space!
Your experiences speak to the challenges shared by many of my students. I teach young adults qualifying for IT careers as well as more mature career changers. Many are questioning what it takes to qualify for a good job, as well as which jobs may not be worth having.
The recent trend toward AI has complicated these matters considerably. I’d be very interested in any take you have - technically or psychologically - on the issues raised here: Ethics and AI